Stella, I heard the rumor that you’re an introvert. But it sure seems like you talk and write a lot. What gives?
Lean in closer, my chickadee, as Stella spins a tale of the little introvert that could.
First off, let’s be clear: introverts love people, too. We just love them after we’ve
refilled our buckets. Alone. Solo. And by ourselves. And no, you aren’t invited.
Are you an entrepreneur who gets fired up by being with other people… or are you one who loves her some quality time where no one talks to her, asks her questions, or notices that you exist?
An instructive tale: last week, as I hosted 15 incredible business owners on the Marketing Secrets of the Rich + Famous Summit, a curious thing happened.
I started drinking beer and watching Gossip Girl at 8:30 pm. In the dark. Laying on my favorite shag rug on the floor in the family room.
Little did I know that this act, as cheesy as it was, was an act of introvert life support.
When I taught public school, I used to joke that it was as close to “surfing humanity” as you can get without working at the DMV. But nope. I was wrong. Running a business is right up there.
The thing is, when you run your own biz, the sheer volume of decisions, emotions, facts and OPS-Other People’s Stuff-coming at you is epic To say nothing of WYSCU- When Your Stuff Comes Up.
No wonder so many half-arsed sales pages ask such saggy, tired “pull questions”:
• Are you overwhelmed?
• Are you struggling?
• Are you “spinning your wheels”?
Promise me YOU will never write this in your copy. Yes, that is snoring you hear…
My #1 self-care tip for introverts? Build in time to “unspool.” Get out on the bike. Stretch the ole legs. Give yourself permission NOT to talk to people. Go ahead, stare at the wall like an invalid. The extroverts in your life won’t get what you’re up to, but let’s be honest, you’ve been an enigma to them, from the beginning.
Feel free to use the saying I remember, in times when my exciting, action-packed life is leaving me a bit threadbare: “sometimes, the holiest thing you can do is nap.”
A big, whopping, wholehearted thank you to all 15 of this year’s marketing mavens who gave their time, wisdom, and expertise to the attendees of the Marketing Secrets of the Rich + Famous Summit. And all of you who joined us live (thank you for your tweets & emails. That made me so happy.) If you missed a speaker you really wanted to hear, or you missed the whole event, you can get the recordings of all 16 talks (mine, too!), plus professional transcripts and added bonuses from the speakers here.
Posted November 22, 2011 at 9:43 am | Permalink
Reading your “Self Care Tip for Introverts” made me realize that I have an absolute requirement for private, in-my-cave time but have never identified as an introvert. This is required, renewal time, my ‘artist’s day off’ as described by Julia Cameron in The Artists Way.
Enjoying your sassy style and authentic perspectives!
Posted November 23, 2011 at 12:10 am | Permalink
I blogged about something similar today. I take cheesy TV breaks while I’m working to break up the monotony and keep a sense of humor when i get challenged. Now I’m off to grab a beer, and — I haven’t even delved into Gossip Girls yet, but maybe now’s the time!
Posted November 24, 2011 at 8:27 pm | Permalink
Hi Stella, Thank-you soooo much for your marketing seminar. The content I appreciated most was from Maggie Ostara, Mathew Goldforb and Monica Shah. However all the speakers had valuable information it’s that the above named people used language I am familiar with and content that I need to pay attention to. I am also working through the book Overcoming Underearning and although I have done many similar exercises it’s good to revisit them. I needed to get my computer tower fixed the other day and I am bartering two puppets for his children for his time fixing my tower. It was a big step for me to ask and I had an arguement in my mind about not asking and I’m glad I did so I think it’s a beginning for a change. I love your OPS and WHYSCU-can I use that? I’ll give you credit. Thank-you for being there and for your help. Blessings Lee.
Posted November 29, 2011 at 7:35 am | Permalink
Bridget- It took me awhile to realize that cheesy tv can actually be *helpful*. Try Friday Night Lights first… seriously, it’s an incredible show, but with plenty o’ twists & turns. The writing’s much better, too… Glad to see you’re writing more regularly, btw!
Posted November 29, 2011 at 7:38 am | Permalink
Debra - Julia Cameron is one of my favorites, too. It may not strictly be for introverts… but creatives & sensitives, too. Whatever you call it. I just find that it’s easy to fill my days with activity… when my soul hankers for some old fashioned puttering time, walkabouts, and whimsy. Thanks for reading!
Posted November 29, 2011 at 7:42 am | Permalink
Lee - You’re most welcome… and good for you! Glad you found some speakers you liked & that rang true for you at the Summit. Have you contacted Maripat yet? When the timing’s right, of course. I find it’s helpful when I reach out and get support when I’m trying on new beliefs and being brave. Love to you, my dear… and when can we see your puppets?? /st
Posted November 29, 2011 at 9:07 am | Permalink
Stella…thank to YOU for the marketing seminar…I know you put in countless hours and it was AWESOME!! I learned SOOO much! Thank you for making it available.
Thanks also for this post. I too am an introvert and sometimes feel guilty for taking that ME time. NO more! I fully embrace the cheesy tv that makes me laugh and refreshes me. My favorite show right now is Psych. When it has run it’s course I will have to try Friday Night Lights!
Posted November 29, 2011 at 10:02 am | Permalink
Laura,
It was truly my pleasure. And I love that folks like you were listening! I still can’t get over that. It’s really cool. Yes to vegging out… no more guilt for taking good care of our still, small selves! I’m a big fan of getting out walking and meeting the world with no particular agenda, too. xo Stel
Posted December 26, 2011 at 7:17 am | Permalink
Hi Stella, I read this post a while ago and it spoke to me very much. It inspired me to write down “My Christmas Story”: http://cpkind.blogspot.com/2011/12/my-christmas-story_25.html
Thanks for your great work and all the best for 2012!
Posted January 2, 2012 at 9:05 am | Permalink
Patrica,
What a lovely piece you’ve written! I’m honored to have sparked part of it. I’ve actually found that I sneak in quiet & down time during the holidays as well… I love a good hubbub and family gathering, but get so hungry for rest, reflection, and quiet mid-winter. Thanks for “coming out” and sharing who you really are.
And thanks for your note here.
Keep up the good work,
Stella