Is there compassion in your copy?

“Buy my stuff, you struggling, overwhelmed rube”

Some of the students in my Writing That Sells production lab are engaged in this FASCINATING discussion about how to title an Awesome Free Gift.

(You know, the thing that turns website window-shoppers into newsletter subscribers that you can build a real relationship with over time? THAT Awesome Free Gift.)

And the gist of the conversation goes something like this:

Ije: What do you think about calling it something like “the 4 top parenting mistakes that mom entrepreneurs make – and how to fix them?”

Jo: I don’t jive with the “mistakes” thing – it makes me feel judged as a parent. You know? I like the “4 ways to stay connected with your kids as you build your business” idea better. Because that’s what I really want.

Ije: Ah, I get it. And now that you mention it, the moms I work with tend to be into conscious parenting or attachment parenting. They are already dealing with their own judgment, and feeling bad when their kids act out. So I don’t want to put more of that on them. So maybe it’s something like: 4 Parenting Myths that Can Stress Mom Entrepreneurs Out?

Jo: Oh, I like that one much better.

This is actually a really amazing thing they are doing together – they are teasing out the words that conjure a culture of respect + compassion, of truly CONNECTING with and seeing one’s ideal client.

As opposed to just flopping out a “Are you STRUGGLING with…” or “Are you MASSIVELY OVERWHELMED by…”

As a highly sensitive person who believes that words have real power, I’m amazed by how many entrepreneurs write copy that is so shaming and negative towards the very people they want to hire them.

Many of my clients who write with me – from intuitives to relationship coaches – talk about the fact that the every we put out there is what comes back to us.

In other words, we reap what we sow.

So it’s perplexed me more than a little when I see entrepreneurs writing this ham fisted copy that’s really bald and overpromising and intense (and not in the good way).

It’s all over the internet, really.

People pedaling struggle, overwhelm, fear, and “you can’t handle this without paying me for my 5-step system.”

And I get that for many people, that s*** works.

But the artist in me, the human being, the playwright and the lover of people just goes “ew.”

On a visceral level.

Like, hose me off and remind me NOT to JV partner with THAT guy (or gal).

“Hooray!,” I can almost hear some of you saying, “I can just write about transformation and rainbows and life coaching!”

Oh, please for the love of all that’s holy, no.

That’s not what I’m saying.

You still need to solve a honest-to-goodness problem.

Not the one YOU think your clients have.

The one THEY think they have.

And you still need to name the gap – clearly, simply – between where they are now and the place where they want to be (that you can help them get to with your service).

And yes, Virginia, there is a way of writing that you need to learn if you want to play the online marketing game to win – and it’s not what they taught you in school.

But I’m really over the crappy, fast food style copy that assumes that your clients are drooling idiots who couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag without you.

I say we write stuff that moves people to act because it ignites their imagination for what’s possible.

And that respects them for the intelligent, sophisticated human they are.

Full disclosure: sometimes, I wrestle with this in my copy, too. I get so fired up about writing copy, and I see business owners making silly mistakes when they know better… and I’ve actually written blog posts with the “what’s with you, stupid?” energy behind it.

Whoops.

Not something I’m proud of.

But it happens.

This “finding your voice” thing in writing copy is an adventure. And it’s not for sissies. I think one of the reasons there’s a lot of crappy copy out there is because people really are afraid of being seen for who they really are.

Glory, warts and all.

At least, that’s something I’ve had to go through to get here.

But I suspect that’s all a part of the process. So as you practice more compassion for your readers + potential clients, may you also practice more lovingkindness, as the Buddhists say, towards yourself, too.

You may be surprised how much the seemingly illusive magic of “client attraction” is actually just treating people with old-fashioned kindness, respect, and humanity.

So, I’m curious: Who do YOU think is getting this right in their copy? Please, no self-promotion here… I really want to know who YOU’VE seen or studied who “calls in” a higher-caliber client because they write to a more sophisticated audience with compassion + respect.

Mighty thanks to http://edo.medicks.net flickr photostream for the perfection