Want better clients? Stop writing about struggle.

Struggle.

Flounder.

Stumble.

Think of the last time you really wrestled with something.

Were truly challenged by it.

Got it in your mind’s eye?

Or a feeling of it in your body?

Now, write down what it felt like.

Might be a tightness in your chest.

Might be a sinking feeling.

Might be a feeling of falling off the edge of a cliff – trying in vain to grab a protruding root on the way down.

Here’s the thing. We’ve all been there. Even if you didn’t conjure up a particular moment in your mind’s eye, you can get a felt sense.

What pops to mind for me was a moment, years ago, with a particularly tough breakup.

I was upset, walking around trying to calm myself down, and sobbing uncontrollably.

A woman saw me, and came up to me.

Cut – this is your theater director talking. What did this stranger say to me?

A)   Are you struggling with a broken heart?

B)   Are you overwhelmed by strong emotions that just need to be expressed?

C)  Are you okay?

The honest truth is, I don’t remember what she said. But it was probably closer to C) Are you okay? than it was to the first two.

I mention this because it relates to how you write about the problem in your copy.

On your website. In your emails. On your opt-in pages for your teleseminar.

See, the old school copywriting and marketing advice would have you “touch their pain” and speak to the struggle or overwhelm.

But if you want to attract more sophisticated clients, you need to refine your message a bit beyond the “struggle and overwhelm” crowd.

Many coaches talk about wanting to “empower” people. But why not work with people who already are in the driver’s seats of their lives… just want more of the good stuff – with your help?

If you want to work with people who don’t already know themselves as powerful, keep writing and talking about their struggle and overwhelm.

To be clear: it’s not my intention to judge people.

But it is my intention to wake you up to how your language may be “calling in” people who aren’t fun for you to work with.

Consider this. If you want to attract people who are already in action, can typically afford to pay you more, and who don’t blame you for their results – stop writing and talking about struggle.

Because connecting with people in your copy is all about using the words your ideal clients use to talk about their problem.

And I’m willing to bet you, dollars to donuts, that this second group rarely uses the words “struggle” or “overwhelm” when they talk to themselves.

Instead, they may notice things got harder. And they’ve trained themselves that this “drag” is a signal. Something needs to shift. Or they need more support.

Instead, they may notice that they feel overloaded. And they’ve trained themselves that this “too much” feeling is a signal. Delegate. Or check in and let it go.

What I suggest for your consideration, is that your copy may need a mindset shift.

What are your assumptions about the way your ideal client talks about their problem? What are their attitudes toward investment and spending money? If they COULD figure this out without you, what reasons do they have for hiring you anyway?

Instead of using the language of struggle and overwhelm, I invite you to try on what I call the “language of challenge.”

Many of your best clients are already fluent in it.

They don’t talk about their problems as struggle — there’s actually a slice of the population that has done inner work and so they frame things in terms of challenges, what’s not working, and even desires.

So, play with this. Tune in to your favorite clients, and with your mind’s ear (like a mind’s eye, but for listening!), hear how THEY talk about the problem. There can still be plenty of urgency and reason to hire you – the texture of it just might feel different.

And then, put that into your copy.

Mighty thanks to John Benson flickr photostream for the ladies riding.