Why I want you to stop using the word ‘struggle’ in your marketing.

Struggle.
Flounder.
Stumble.

Think of the last time you really wrestled with something.

Were truly challenged by it.

Got it in your mind’s eye?

Or a feeling of it in your body?

Good.

Now, write down what it felt like.

Might be a tightness in your chest.

Might be a sinking feeling.

Might be a feeling of falling off the edge of a cliff – reaching for root on the way down.

But missing it.

Here’s the thing. We’ve all been there. Even if you didn’t conjure up a particular moment in your mind’s eye, you can get a felt sense.

What pops to mind for me was a moment, years ago, with a particularly tough breakup.

I was upset, walking around trying to calm myself down, and sobbing uncontrollably.

A woman saw me, and came up to me.

Cut – this is your theater director talking. What did this stranger say to me?

A)    Are you struggling with a broken heart?
B)    Are you overwhelmed by strong emotions that just need to be expressed?
C)    Are you okay?

The honest truth is, I don’t remember what she said. But it was probably closer to C) Are you okay? than it was to the first two.

I mention this because it relates to how you write about the problem in your copy.

See, traditional marketing tells us to “touch their pain” and speak to the struggle or overwhelm.

But if you want to attract more sophisticated clients (or those with a prosperous “can-do” mindset), you need to refine your message beyond the “struggle and overwhelm” crowd.

Now, many coaches want to “empower” people. I’m all for that.

But there comes a point when, as a smart business owner, you realize that trying to save people is not good business.

There are many reasons I have for saying this, but for now, let’s keep it simple.

It’s way more fun, satisfying, and financially rewarding to work with people who already know themselves as powerful and 100% responsible for their own results.

It’s less fun, satisfying, or financially rewarding to work with people who are paying you to save them.

Are there plenty of hucksters and snakeoil salespeople out there willing to do it?

You bet.

But that’s not you.

And that’s not me.

But hey, if you want to work with people who don’t already know themselves as powerful, keep writing and talking about their struggle and overwhelm.

To be clear: it’s not my intention to judge people.

We all struggle.

That’s a human experience.

But what if I told you that there’s a bunch of us who don’t even call it “struggle” anymore (or never did)?

We might use words like “wrestle” or “challenge” or “dark night of the soul.”

Also?

Civil rights is a struggle. Access to clean drinking water is a struggle. Fighting for your life against an attacker or illness is a struggle.

Everything else? White people problems. (Including my breakup.)

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All that said, it is my intention to wake you up to how your language may be “calling in” people who aren’t fun for you to work with.

Consider this. If you want to attract people who are already in action, can typically afford to pay you more, and who don’t blame you for their results – stop writing and talking about struggle.

Because connecting with people in your copy is all about using the same words your ideal clients use to talk about their problem.

And I’m willing to bet you, dollars to donuts, that this second group rarely uses the words “struggle” or “overwhelm” when they talk to themselves.

Instead, they may notice things got harder. And they’ve trained themselves that this “drag” is a signal. Something needs to shift. Or they need more support.

Instead, they may notice that they feel overloaded. And they’ve trained themselves that this “too much” feeling is a signal. Delegate. Or check in and let it go.

Knowing this, your copy may need a mindset shift.

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What are your assumptions about the way your ideal client talks about their problem?

What are their attitudes toward investment and spending money?

If they COULD figure this out without you, what reasons do they have for hiring you anyway?

Instead of using the language of struggle and overwhelm, I invite you to try on what I call the “language of challenge.”

Many of your best clients are already fluent in it.

They don’t talk about their problems as struggle — there’s actually a slice of the population that has done inner work and so they frame things in terms of challenges, what’s not working, and even their desires.

So, play with this. Tune in to your favorite clients, and with your mind’s ear (like a mind’s eye, but for listening!), hear how THEY talk about the problem. There can still be plenty of urgency and reason to hire you – the texture of it just might feel different.

And then, put that into your copy.

Mighty thanks to Brian Snelson for the “Cyril the squirrel up for a challenge” image