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Why Touching Your Customer’s Pain Is A Terrible Idea (And Where to Connect with them Instead)


Most experts will tell you to ‘touch the pain’ of your core customer in your marketing. But my take is that pain is a terrible place to connect with clients. Instead, I teach my students to look for the challenge, desire, or ripeness in their customers’ lives. If you are a parenting coach who speaks to parents’ pain, you might write something like this: Are you struggling to get your teen to listen to you? The trouble here is that …

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Category Archives: "Advice"

Ripeness vs. urgency in the #NewMarketing

As we progress on the path towards creating clients without poking at people’s fear of missing out, shame, guilt or ‘not enoughness’… Questions arise. Like this one: If using ‘pain point marketing’ rubs you the wrong way, here’s how to think of it instead: In the old marketing, urgency is used as a psychological trigger to motivate people to act. On its own, that isn’t predatory or problematic. We DO need to understand why our core customers choose a particular …

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Masters need a different conversation

Last week, we talked about whether you work with beginners or masters. (If you missed it, you can read that here.) If you’ve been in business awhile, you’ve noticed that as you hone your skills and craft, the people who show up in your world tend to shift as well. The trouble is, there is … Read More >

How to Gracefully Start Sending Your Newsletter Again

When you run your own business, sending content regularly to your prospective customers can be a great way to build that relationship. But what happens when you stop mailing regularly and want to get back in the habit again? Read on to find out. 1.     Let yourself off the hook Many of the coaches, healers, … Read More >

The Deceptively Simple Secret Weapon to Getting Consistent and Getting Better At Marketing

Procrastination. Not knowing what to write. Getting bogged down by questions (or self doubt). There’s one tool that nips ALL of these challenges in the bud: having someone in your world that you meet with weekly to talk through your challenges, and then ‘shut up and write’ your marketing with. We call this your ‘accountabilibuddy.’ I recently talked with Liz and Rena, two of our Write Club community members who meet for ninety minutes every Wednesday to problem-solve and shut …

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How to Shut Up And Write Your Way to More Clients in 5 Steps (Even If You Aren’t Perfect Yet)

Perfectionism is the enemy. In my work with coaches, healers, and self-employed professionals, it’s the biggest, hairiest adversary of them all. The good news is, there is a way out. A way that neutralizes perfectionism, once and for all. A way that dramatically improves your marketing results. A way that helps people doing good work discover the best way of resonating and building rapport with their prospective clients. We call it Shut Up And Write. It’s a chunk of time …

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Excerpt from The New Marketing: A Story of Hope in the Age of Insecurity

I just finished a new position paper, The New Marketing: A Story of Hope in the Age of Insecurity, which we’ll be sending to subscribers later this month. Below is a series of excerpts: Marketing tells the same old story Underneath most marketing is the same old story. It goes something like this: You (potential customer) have a problem. It hurts so much and has gotten so bad that you want relief. I (the business) have the magical solution. I …

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6 Ways to Put People First in Your Marketing

A lot of marketing treats prospective clients like garbage. From psychological techniques to fake authority before it actually accrues, to the widely-accepted advice to ‘touch their pain’ in order to connect, is it any wonder so many are left with a desire to hose themselves off? Thankfully, there is another way. It starts with rejecting the idea that we need to “suck it up” and treat prospective clients in a way we don’t like to grease the gears of a …

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To Hell With Marketing: 8 Things We Won’t Be Doing In 2017

This year, let’s stop “marketing our businesses.” Let’s quit making sales funnels and secret million dollar strategies and putting everything on autopilot. It’s all crap. Instead, let’s put our focus on experimenting until we find an original way of consistently reaching out to people who are interested in our help. Because the world needs our original ideas. And the best customers aren’t interested in us rehashing the same tried-and-true systems and formulas. So here’s what we WON’T be doing in …

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Ask Yourself This One Simple Question

It’s like walking a tightrope. Lean too far to either side, and you’ll lose your balance + topple. This is what’s happening with a lot of businesses running online marketing programs out there. You’ve got folks leaning so far to the commerce side of things, that their messages become rote. They talk about exciting stuff, … Read More >