The Deceptively Simple Secret Weapon to Getting Consistent and Getting Better At Marketing


Not knowing what to write.

Getting bogged down by questions (or self doubt).

There’s one tool that nips ALL of these challenges in the bud: having someone in your world that you meet with weekly to talk through your challenges, and then ‘shut up and write’ your marketing with.

We call this your ‘accountabilibuddy.’

I recently talked with Liz and Rena, two of our Write Club community members who meet for ninety minutes every Wednesday to problem-solve and shut up and write together (runtime 7:29):

What’s amazing is that Liz lives in Italy, and Rena lives in Israel. Liz runs a business that helps creative people move forward on their dream projects, and Rena works with women who know about conscious eating, but are still wrestling with taking refuge in food when they are stressed or emotional, and ready to work through that.

Liz and Rena meet for 90 minutes every Wednesday. They spend the first 15-20 minutes updating each other about what’s going on in their business. Then they stop talking and do what we call ‘shut up and write’ – which is silently writing your marketing with an accountability on video conference.

Interestingly, both Liz and Rena reported that they often show up to their shut up and write session without knowing what to write!

Both women have mailing lists. Rena successfully creates clients through print ads in a community magazine, as well. Liz recently wrote a new website, which she has been workshopping and putting the final polish on, with the help of the Write Club community.

Now more than ever, I’m a strong believer in the power of a community to uplift us when we are feeling discouraged or doubtful. When we work alone, it’s too easy to believe the negative voices in our heads that tell us we “should” market our work a certain way, or we “should” hide the more soulful, more woo, or simply more unconventional aspect of our work (even when we are clear that it’s this subtler, more energetic or emotional aspect of the work we do that nets such fabulous gains for our clients!)

Too many coaches, healers and self-employed professionals squander their time, energy and focus on feeling bad about what they are not doing.

They say things like, “I’ve been trying to send my newsletter regularly, but the last time it went out was 6 months ago.”

Or, “Then mom fell ill and my business took a backseat.”

Or, “I want to send my people transformative messages… but right now, my emails sound flat and like everyone else.”

Friends, this is a nearly universal experience. As such, I need to be clear and firm with you here: thinking in terms of personal failings is not useful.

It’s not going to help you reach your goals any faster.

In fact, it will slow you down. Beating yourself up, while culturally encouraged (for women especially), distracts you from the more important questions, like “what do I want my marketing to do for me?” and “what’s the most efficient way for me to get there from where I am now?”

For the record, this is why we have a strict “no beating yourself up” rule here.

It’s time to cut out that self-flagellating behavior, and play a more interesting and useful game. You’re better than this!

Finding an accountabilibuddy to meet with every week is the way out.

In our Write Club community, we offer a bleeding edge, state-of-the-art Accountabilibuddy Connection Service. It goes like this: you post “hey, I am looking for an accountabilibuddy to meet with weekly for 90 minutes in [your time zone or day and time preference] to talk shop with and shut up and write with. Message me if you’re interested.”

Hey, I just saved you $1,500 on your Write Club membership!

But all joking aside, many people will read this and say, “how folksy and simple!” … and then do nothing. They will not reach out and ask for a buddy. Even though I just said exactly how to do it, for free. Instead, they will click through to another free article or webinar that promises something more glitzy, easy, and glamorous, like 7 steps to a million dollar webinar. Or whatever too-good-to-be-true promise dupes people into the grand illusion that success can be “easy” and you can manipulate your way to riches, with zero negative karma or psychic drag on your soul or reputation.

This why Accountabilibuddies are a deceptively simple secret weapon that most people will fail to actually pick up and use.

Sadly, we live in a culture that has trained us to think as individuals and as consumers. Relationships aren’t as ‘sexy’ as some inauthentic formula for a million dollar webinar.

Fine by me. Because in the long run, you know as well as I do that business, like life, it about relationship.

This may, in fact, be the real secret weapon in business (which isn’t really much of a secret, when you think about it) – seek to be in real relationship with other people. With an accountabilibuddy, yes. But also with your clients. With your mailing list. With your audience. With a larger community of likeminded business owners who aren’t about manipulation or hoodwinking people… and are about calling more people forth into the revolution where each of us live.

Want help getting started with a shut up and write practice – or getting back in the habit? Check out the call I’m teaching on Valentine’s day here. I’ll teach more on the 5 steps above, and share stories from real life business owners who have use this approach to create serious improvements to their income, clientele and lifestyle, by focusing on their writing.

Stella Orange teaches her clients how to effectively market their business by telling a better story in their marketing— the story of the hero answering the call to more. A professional copywriter whose writing has generated millions of dollars in sales, Stella knows that the story we tell in our marketing matters a whole lot, because on a fundamental level, it shapes how people think about themselves and what’s even possible for them. Three times a month, Stella hosts a 90-minute Shut Up And Write session via videoconference for members of her Write Club community. She is based in Buffalo, New York, where she lives with her husband, the Philosopher, and their dog, Chachi. Get a copy of Stella’s position paper The New Marketing: How to Create Clients Without Feeling Gross, Icky or Manipulative at

One Comment

  1. I’ve had an accountability buddy in my friend Rachel since 2013. She lives in Florida and I’m in Norway, so meeting in person would be hard. But we talk at least weekly over Skype and help each other out when our writing hits a bump.

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