Why do people keep telling you to “touch their pain”?

One of the things you always hear about writing copy (copy = “words that sell”) is that you need to “touch their pain.”

That is, you need to stir up whatever pain your potential clients are in, so that they FEEL it, and recognize that they are in the market for a solution.

Typically, it’s the solution you offer.

Now, when I am writing with a client and he says “I know I need to touch their pain,” I smile ever so faintly, and step on to my soapbox.

After I take a deep breath, here is what I say:

“There is enough pain and suffering in the world already, without you writing copy that touches it. So, how about finding another way to make a connection with your reader. Okay?”

Because if someone was trying to sell ME something by touching MY pain, I would tell them to quit touching me.

I don’t need reminders of my pain, struggle or overwhelm to buy things.

Maybe you’re like that, too.

And more sophisticated, more successful clients are DEFINITELY like that.

We’re actually talking about “client attraction” here. And what I’m about to tell you flies in the face of conventional copywriting and marketing wisdom. (I’ve written about this in terms of “pull questions” here).

Now, here’s my beef:

You don’t need to literally use the words “overwhelm” or “struggle” to talk about your ideal client’s problem.  

There, I said it. Too many business owners are getting trained that to write hot copy, you need to write “pull questions” like these:

–       Do you struggle to find new clients?

–       Are you overwhelmed with everything you need to do to market your business?

Here, we are imagining you are in the business of serving business owners around attracting new clients.

Those questions are okay.

But I strongly suspect those questions will “pull in” people who are stuck in struggle and overwhelm.

Now, maybe those are people YOU love to work with.

Some people like working with people who are really stuck. And some people don’t.

I don’t. Many of my clients don’t.

If this imaginary business owner were MY client, I’d want them to write something like this:

• Do most of your clients come to you by referral—but your online marketing is a hot mess?
• Are you working on attracting great clients who happily pay you higher rates—but you aren’t sure exactly how to make it happen?

See how we’re targeting someone who is ALREADY winning here?

Now, there’s a caveat here:  this is a more advanced idea, for those of you who have been at this awhile. If you are starting out, you may need to target clients in a more basic way, until YOU are really clear about the problems you solve that they are willing to pay for.

Messaging #ftw (= “for the win”) —  Look at the ways you describe the problem your clients have when they’re hungry to work with someone like you. Let’s be clear: you still need to name the problem, so they see they really want to work with you. Just give yourself permission to let go of the white-knuckle-death-grip on the whole “touch the pain” thing.

Instead, SHOW them how their problem is showing up in their lives. Remember, writing “you are overwhelmed” is way colder and less engaging than “you are drinking 2 glasses of wine every night after work, because you have this crazy frenetic energy that won’t let you rest.” Work on describing—briefly—how that struggle, overwhelm, and other stuff they don’t want is showing up in their daily lives.

What gets to happen when you do this – you stamp out fear trolling as a legitimate way to manipulate people into taking action. Which, karmically, will do good things for you and your business. And as you flex this muscle of being more specific about how the problem is showing up—and focus on attracting clients who are ALREADY successful, ALREADY winning—you will write stronger copy. And when you write stronger copy, you will get a bigger response.

Mighty thanks to santheo flickr photostream for the cast